I’ll be honest from the outset – rest does not come naturally to me.
I grew up with two very driven and over-achieving parents, our home and garden were always immaculate, and being productive, capable, and busy was quietly celebrated. Later, I spent much of my working life in the FMCG world – an incredibly fast-paced environment that thrives on momentum, targets, and constant forward motion. Most recently, I worked for a company where it was completely normal – if not expected – to be checking emails while on holiday. Rest was something you fitted in around work, if at all.
So when I talk about rest now, it isn’t from a place of having mastered it. It comes from learning – sometimes clumsily – why rest matters, and what happens when we don’t allow ourselves enough of it.
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Winter, Imbolc, and the permission to slow down
This time of year offers us a powerful reminder that life is seasonal – even if modern life tries to convince us otherwise.
February sits in a gentle in‑between space. We’ve passed the intensity of winter, and at Imbolc we celebrate the first subtle stirrings of spring beneath the surface. And yet, the earth is still resting. Nothing is rushing. Growth is happening quietly, invisibly, in its own time.
Nature doesn’t leap straight from rest into full bloom. It moves gradually, cyclically, and with deep wisdom. And yet many of us expect ourselves to be fully energised, motivated, and “back on it” by now.
If you’re still feeling tired, tender, or in need of slowness, you’re not behind. You’re human.
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Why rest feels so hard
For many of us – especially women – rest feels uncomfortable. Even undeserved. We’ve absorbed the idea that being busy equals being valuable. That slowing down is lazy. That rest must be earned.
For me, learning to rest has meant unpicking decades of conditioning. Noticing how quickly I reach for productivity when things feel uncertain. How easily I fill quiet space with “useful” tasks. How often I equate rest with stopping altogether, rather than seeing it as something nourishing and supportive.
Rest, I’ve learnt, isn’t about doing nothing. It’s about allowing space.
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Five things I’ve learnt about rest
Here are a few of the lessons rest has been gently (and sometimes firmly) teaching me:
1. Rest isn’t the opposite of productivity
Rest is what makes sustainable productivity possible. When we never pause, we don’t become more effective – we become depleted.
2. You don’t have to hit burnout to deserve rest
This one took me a long time to grasp. You don’t need to be exhausted, ill, or overwhelmed to justify slowing down. Rest can be preventative, not just reparative.
3. Small moments of rest matter
Rest doesn’t have to look like a weekend away or a full day off. It can be a few conscious breaths. A cup of tea without distraction. A walk without a podcast. These moments add up.
4. Rest can feel uncomfortable before it feels nourishing
When you’re used to being busy, slowing down can bring up restlessness, guilt, or even anxiety. That doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong – it means you’re learning something new.
5. Rest is an act of self‑love
Not the glossy, Instagram version of self‑love, but the quiet kind. The kind that says: I matter enough to pause.
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A gentle invitation for February
February is often framed around self‑love because of Valentine’s Day, but I prefer to think of self‑love as something far less performative.
Sometimes self‑love looks like:
- saying no
- going to bed earlier
- asking for help
- booking time to be looked after
- choosing rest over pushing through
This month, my invitation – to myself and to you – is to let rest be enough. To keep wintering a little longer. To trust that slowing down now creates steadier ground for what comes next.
And if rest feels foreign to you, you’re not alone. I’m still learning too 😊